Dear The Food Emporium,
I am upset with you.  Yesterday I surprised a friend of mine with the cutest cake ever.  It was vanilla with rainbow sprinkles and along the edges were what looked like ice cream cones! 
It was the ice cream cake that never melted. 
So we sing.
she blows the candles....
I cut the cake and 
IT"S MOLDY!!!!!!!! 

so I'm clearly upset and none of us can eat your CRAPPY cake even though it was sooo cute.
I want my damn money back.  Not cool.  and frankly a little embarrassing since I made such a big deal of how fricken cute this cake was.  
who saves their receipt when they buy a cake?  I mean should I plan to have to return a cake?  definitely not.  
so I have to drag myself back to your stupid store and explain the story of your incompetence.  And then YOU, the food emporium ask me for my receipt.  And the CAKE!? oh yeah I forgot to mention in my spare time I saved the cake, walked home with it at 2am. carried it to work.  then placed it on the treadmill next to me at the gym and surprise! HERE I AM to return it!  You are an idiot.  Give me my money back.  and as promised I told you I would blog.  And that I'm a big deal online.  ha....

you will pay!